My Two Cents

So, a lot of you probably think you know what this blog is going to be about given the subject matter of my last blog and the history we witnessed today. But you're wrong. Sorry. I'm not going to talk about that. All I'll say is... For anyone that is posting pictures of a man and woman saying you believe marriage should be between a man and a woman, I have GREAT news for you... You can still believe that. No one is making anyone marry someone they don't want to marry. And the law is not making churches perform marriages they don't believe should be performed. There are people who believe remarrying after a divorce is wrong, but a state will issue someone a license anyway if they want it. You don't have to agree with gay marriage, but that doesn't mean it should be illegal. It is a civil rights issue, not a religious one. Today's decision did not affect you at all. Your marriage is STILL legal! It was never threatened. Your life is still the same. :) For others, their lives were changed completely. They have hope that full equality is on the horizon.

No, my blog tonight is not about THAT though. I don't feel the need for contraversy. Although, I just gave you my opinion anyway. :) Anyway, my blog tonight is about my first love... Music. I won't talk about anyone I don't like (lesson learned), but I will talk about my first Bonnaroo experience, who I do like, and my feelings about internet radio. Ooh... you ready for this? Get ready! My opinion matters!!

Bonnaroo
I went to Bonnaroo for the first time this year. Yes, I am a HUGE music lover and had never been to the festival that takes place in my backyard. I am going to be 35 this year and had a panic attack when I thought about telling my kids that I never went to Bonnaroo. "Mom, I thought you LOVED live music", I could hear my future son saying. My daughter was a little meaner and told all of her friends that I was lame and a fraud. It hurt. So, I went... for the sake of my relationship with my future kids.

It was amazing. I didn't shower for 4 days. I had to use a porta-john. I slept in a van with Emily Watson (you're welcome for the shout out, Emily! And thank you for the van.). I played games. I saw so many amazing bands and that trumped everything else. Do you know who I saw??? BJORK!!!!! Besides Emily, Bjork was the reason I went to Bonnaroo. I have loved her for 20 years. I have never seen her live and didn't know when I would ever have the chance to see her again. So I threw the money down, asked my dad for permission to miss Father's Day, put in my vacation request, and met Emily in Murfreesboro to load up and head out for the weekend. I was so excited and so scared at the same time.

Wednesday night, we stayed up all night. Like, all night. We stayed at a friend's house in Manchester that night. I think I went inside to make pizza rolls with the group and saw an open chair and sat down and fell asleep. I slept sitting up in a chair for maybe 2 hours. Maybe. We woke up and got in our cars and caravanned out to to the farm. We got our spot, set up camp, and opened a beer. It was early at this point, but what else was there to do?

Thursday night might have been my favorite night at Bonnaroo. We went into Centeroo and everyone fell asleep on the grass (again, no sleep). I was on such a high that I wasn't even tired. I went from tent to tent all alone to see different bands. I couldn't believe I had never been there before. Random people were giving me high fives and I was listening to really good bands. I was in heaven.
(Bands I saw Thurs: Milo Greene, HAIM, Walk the Moon, Purity Ring, Father John Misty, Paper Diamond, and Alt-J)

Friday was awesome too and I was so excited to get back into the music after a morning at camp. We were about a 30 minute walk from Centeroo, so once I went in, I stayed in all night. Friday, the bigger stage opened up and more people arrived and I was a little overwhelmed, but still having fun. I made the mistake of trying to get close for Wilco and then realized I had to fight the crowd to get out because they were all trying to get close for Sir McCartney. That was the closest I got to death.
Side note: I feared I'd be the 34 year old girl you read about that dies at Bonnaroo every year. Honestly, it's not that easy to die there. It's hot, but it's just not somewhere where people are dropping like flies and you have to fight to survive (which is how I imagined it). I don't do drugs. I know when to switch to water. I find shade if I'm hot. It's all just kind of common sense.  
It was all worth it though. Wilco was awesome and Paul McCartney put on an amazing show. I was, actually, hoping he would close it out on Sunday because I don't care about him and I thought I could leave early. However, he put on an amazing show. I was kind of bored for the first part, but once he started "Let it Be", I was on my feet and enjoyed every second of the rest of it. Plus, it was fun to see Emily so happy (yep, another shout out - you asked for it).
(Bands I saw Fri: Of Monsters of Men, Wilco, Paul McCartney, and The XX - I feel like I saw more, but can't remember who)

By Saturday, the crowds were even bigger. It got to be very crowded and I couldn't meet up with anyone I was trying to find because of all of the people. It was still fun though. Plus, Saturday was Bjork and she was the reason I was here. Man, 20 years I have waited. One time my old roommate, Maggie, and I were at a party and I went to use the restroom and I didn't return for 2 hours. She found me glued to the TV watching Bjork videos. We then bought the videos and watched them almost daily. I have a bucket list... stuff I want to do before I die. Jump on a moving train, swim with Great White Sharks, and see Bjork live are on my bucket list. I am now one step closer to dying happily. She did NOT disappoint. What an amazing performance and such a crazy outfit. Man, I just love her! Definitely worth the money to see her live. Who knows if I'll ever get that opportunity again. Mumford & Sons had to cancel due to their bassist having brain surgery, so Jack Johnson stepped in to fill in their spot. I was a little disappointed, but not surprised. I mean, he had brain surgery!! I was hoping The Cure would take their place, but that was just a dream. A dream that would have been amazing if it had come true. Oh well, Jack Johnson was enjoyable. I'm not a huge fan, but he was nice background music while sitting on a blanket and sharing my long island tea with Emily. :)
(Bands I saw Sat: Matt & Kim, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, Bjork, The Lumineers, Jack Johnson, R Kelly, and Billy Idol)

By Sunday, I was beat... 3 days was enough for this old lady, but I tried to carry on (falling asleep at most shows I ventured out to). Actually, I think I only made it to 2 shows on Sunday. We left early because Emily had a date with her husband to watch TV and I had to be in Memphis early the next day. We spent a lot of time at camp that day playing games, cleaning up, and packing. But really, I don't have much to report on the music because I fell asleep everywhere we went. :)
(Bands I saw Sun: Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros, and The National)

Anywho... Bonnaroo was awesome. Would I go back? I think I really would. Get The Cure there next year and I'll be a horrible daughter, missing Father's Day, two years in a row.

Internet Radio
Honestly, what inspired me to blog today was this subject. Okay, I get it... People don't buy music like they should. BUT, I want to defend some of us (including me) who do buy music.

I listen to Spotify everyday at work. I work for a company that sells music, so I get music licensing. My sister is in music management, so I get the artists point of view. I know a lot of songwriters, so I understand that it sucks that someone can get their song for free. I get it. People should buy music and not just listen to it to free.

In defense of people who use internet radio like Pandora and Spotify though... I just feel the need to defend myself because I'm sure people see my Facebook all day long telling them what I'm listening to for free and they get upset. I use it purely for convenience. Maybe I'm alone in that, but it's true. It is so much easier to turn on Spotify than to make sure my iPod is charged, or that my iTunes library is synced to my work computer. That is all a hassle. With Spotify, everything I own at home is at my fingertips. And everything a friend recommends is there as well. When I listen to something I don't own though, I buy it if I like it. I really do. I don't buy clothes. I don't buy shoes. I buy music and concert tickets. That's all I buy. Well, and beer too at the shows. ;)

I understand there is a problem with free music at anyones fingertips. I get it. All I know is that if I like a song, I buy it. If I like an album, I buy it. If I like an artist, I buy a ticket to see their show. Ask my bank acocunt. I don't just sit and listen to music for free on the internet, even though that's what it looks like to the casual onlooker. I spend WAY too much money on music.

A few weeks ago, I became obsessed with a certain song... I bought it on iTunes. I decided I needed the actual CD as well. So, I bought it 2 times... Yet I also listened to it at work on Spotify at least 275 times. Yes, it's that good. Once I buy a CD, I can listen to a song as many times as I want. I can put it on repeat and it will continue to play that one song until I decide I've had enough. So the same should apply for internet radio. I don't take my iTunes to work. I don't take CDs. I listen to Spotify. And if there is a song I'm obsessed with, I will listen to it over and over again. Just like on a CD when I keep hitting back to listen to the same song the entire way to Knoxville (yes, I do that quite often - sometimes practicing my karaoke abilities and other times just because I can't seem to turn it off).

My point is is that just because a song is listened to on Spotify or Pandora, it doesn't mean that listener doesn't own that song somewhere else. It may be deflating for the artist and songwriter to get a small check and see the number of times their songs were played, but that doesn't mean those people that played them didn't also buy the CD and didn't also buy a ticket to their show.

Do some people take advantage of the free streaming? Absolutely!!!! Most probably do. However, I'm just defending those of us who use it out of convenience while at work. Compare my iTunes library with my Spotify playlist history... You won't find much difference. There have been a couple recommendations that I haven't enjoyed so I didn't buy and then there was yesterday... the new Bronze Radio Return came out and I loved it so much that I'm going to get it on vinyl tomorrow.

So, long story short... I felt defensive today. I felt that some people may see what I listen to and think I'm one of the ones who doesn't support the music industry. That's just not true.

Music is my life. I love it. I could cry talking about certain artists and songs. I may cry Sunday if My Morning Jacket plays Golden (which I have listened to over and over while writing this blog) and Wilco plays California Stars. That will be a perfect night for me.

I support music. I support artists. I support songwriters. I listen to online radio.

If I play a song 10,000 times on Spotify, trust me... I own it and it's on repeat on my iPod as well.

If you listen to Spotify or Pandora and DON'T buy music too... you're in the wrong. That's stealing. It just is. I don't care if it's legal or not. If you like music, support musicians and songwriters. End of story.

That's all... If you're disappointed in the subject matter of this blog, I'm sorry. I would have written about DOMA and Proposition 8, but my friend (Charlsei) posted this today and it summed up everything I was thinking anyway. :)

Now get back to your internet kittens. You know how much I love them. ;)
Alison

Need To Vent About Hate

I'm never eating another Oreo!

I'm never eating another Chic-fil-A!

I'm never shopping at JC Penny!

I'm never giving another dollar to Susan G. Koman!

You're a sinner going to hell!

You're a lying bigot... And you call yourself a Christian!

Liberals are stupid and out of touch!

Christians are hateful morons who don't believe in science!

I'm a Republican and I think our President is the devil and Jesus must be coming back soon!

I'm a Democrat and think all Republicans are greedy bastards who hate poor people!

HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE!

Stop! Will you please sto-op?!?! **Yelled in my best Phyllis Nefler voice. (Only my brother, Joey, will get that).

Society, how can you teach, 

I wanna know

If you don't practice what you preach?

That's right

If all men were truly brothers

Why then, can't we love one another?

Love and peace from ocean to ocean

Somebody please second my emotion

I am so tired... Maybe I need to delete my facebook. I am so so tired of reading all of the hate - FROM BOTH SIDES!!! What good does it do? Does hate ever win? I think everyone needs a good listen to The Avett Brothers' "Ballad of Love and Hate". Love wins, people... Every single time.

Because someone disagrees with you, does that make it right to spew words of hate back at the person preaching intolerance? Does telling someone they're a hateful bigot and you're never visiting their establishment again change their mind anymore than their hateful words about your lifestyle make you reexamine your life? No! If we have a difference of opinions, we need to educate each other on why we feel this way, not add to the hate in our world.

I am not saying that you don't have the right to not eat at Chic-fil-A if you don't agree with their president's beliefs. You do. That is your right. But think - Did Million Moms boycott on JC Penny hurt them? nope, pretty sure it did the opposite. And I'm not saying he doesn't have the right to state what he believes. He does. That is his right. He can truly believe homosexuality is wrong, but as far as I know he is never been accused of discrimination. And remember, he is not a politician. He may be president of Chic-fil-A, but he is one vote. His opinion doesn't really matter in the big scheme of things. We are all entitled to our opinions, but the hate going back and forth between both sides of the camp is what no one should engage in. No one. **And yes, I realize he gives money to certain Christian groups that are considered anti-gay... That's not my point. If you choose not to eat there and give him your money, then don't. 

Do I agree with Chic-fil-A's president? About as much as I agree with the people calling him names. I understand your feelings and your anger that someone wants to deny you rights... No one should be denied rights, but the hate needs to stop. 

Don't believe it's both sides? Go to Chic-fil-A's Facebook page... The name calling on both sides is sickening. And don't even get me started on the guy that compared the persecution Chic-fil-A is under to that of the church when Christ was killed and how Chic-fil-A will only get stronger just like the church. Seriously? Don't stoop to the hate on the Chic-fil-A Facebook page, or to the rest of Facebook... or to the hate in this world period. 

Be the bigger person.

It's not just Chic-fil-A and gay marriage... It's everything right now! Politics, social issues, what type of dog I should buy/adopt, where I should shop, what I should eat. I AM TIRED! Just stop!

You posting pictures of Obama with catchy little sayings about how horrible he is is not making anyone change their mind. It's just making Obama fans find pictures of Romney with catchy little sayings and post them right back. And it's filling up my news feed with crap and I'm tired of it!

Baby steps people... Yelling hate and saying people have to agree with you right now is not going to work. And it's not what Jesus would have done. Opening up a conversation will work a lot better.

Not everyone has to agree with you. You can still love them... or at least be kind to them. Tolerance?

My dad and I agree on NOTHING politically, but we sit and have a beer and we listen to each other and I really respect his opinion. And occasionally we find ourselves nodding yes in agreement. Must have been the beer. ;)

My mom and I agree on very little socially, but I understand where she's coming from and I explain where I'm coming from in a loving way. And we understand each other. And slowly, but surely... we're getting closer and closer to agreeing on a few things.

One of my best friend's and I don't agree on religion, but we talk about it all of the time and she tells me she wishes more Christians were like me and not so hateful. WOW! What a statement. Jesus preached love and Christians are known for hate. That makes me so sad...

My friend, Sara, and I don't agree on baseball and... Err... Oops! Practice what you preach, Alison. I hate The Yankees. LOL!

Actually, do sports count in this discussion? Because I really hate The Red Wings too and I'm not too fond of Big Ben or Jeff Fisher. :) Oh and music too... I hate on John Mayer all of the time. See... I am having a reasonable conversation with myself on this blog (because I'm the only one who will probably read it) and I'm discovering that I need to change some things about myself too. I can choose to root for anyone playing against The Yankees, Red Wings, Big Ben, and Jeff Fisher, without hating those teams, individuals, or fans (who obviously just don't know any better). I can choose to turn Lightning 100 off when they play John Mayer, but I don't have to hate him (even though he doesn't seem like a very nice guy). **I said this to be funny, but I don't know him... Only what his exes have all said and what I have assumed based on interviews and his twitter account. But I don't know him. I do NOT like his music, but I cannot speak to his character. I was just being funny.

I'm really glad I wrote this blog. I needed to hear this too. :) I am definitely not perfect and get caught up in all of the arguments occasionally too, but enough is enough. And I've had it. If I see one more hateful post about Chic-fil-A, gay people, Christians, Muslims, Jews, Catholics, Democrats, Republicans, Liberals, Conservatives, Obama, Romney, I'm going to scream. I mean it. I may just lose it... I miss the days when my Facebook news feed was filled with videos of kittens doing funny things on YouTube. Just kidding; I hate cats. Oops, I did it again. Love, Alison - Love! 

Seriously though, I just don't get it. Love > Hate

So, my point... You can root for what you believe in without hating everyone who doesn't agree with you. This goes both ways. Do you have to agree eventually? Absolutely not! You can disagree without hate and slander. But you can open a civil conversation about the difference of opinions and in time, perhaps minds and actions will change. Trying to force your beliefs on anyone is not going to work.

This is all written from a Christian who happens to support gay rights. YEP, they exist! I know quite a few, actually. I don't even want to get into the religious debate on whether or not being gay is a sin or not. That is opening up another can of worms that I am not willing to do. My point is that the United States was founded on freedom of religion and freedom in general. One groups' beliefs should not dictate all Americans' lives especially since that one group doesn't even all agree on the issue. If we are founded on freedom, then everyone should have the right to their freedoms. And guess what, WE DON'T HAVE TO AGREE! And another point is that even if you fully believe that marriage is between a man and a woman, how is it hurting your marriage if my friend marries his or her partner? We live in a world where divorce is the common thing... My parents celebrating their 50th anniversary this week is NOT the norm. So what sanctity of marriage are we protecting when even I am sucked in to watching one woman picking her husband out of 25 men in front of a camera crew? Whether you agree that homosexuality is morally right, aren't all Americans entitled to their freedoms?

As a Christian, do I believe I was called to witness to others and stand for what I believe in? Absolutely! Do I think I was called to hold picket signs and hate those who don't agree with me? Absolutely not! And can I still love Jesus and love my neighbor and not be completely sure about certain issues? Sure! I don't find life as black and white as a lot of people do. I can stand for what I believe in in a loving way. And I can hold the people I love accountable without jumping down their throats with harsh words. I believe Jesus called me to love my neighbor as myself. I know my brother is glad to read this. I may or may not have lost my cool with him a few times. :)

And as a somewhat social liberal, do I believe in love and acceptance for all? Yes, I do. Do I believe the way to achieve that is through hate and fighting? No, I don't!

As a socially liberal conservative Christian, I believe in living my life to the best of my ability... loving others as best as I can no matter what their race, religion, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, etc.

Do I have all of the answers? No. Do I pray for guidance? Yes! Am I perfect? No. Do I mess up and use unkind words and harsh tones? Yes - More often than I care to admit. I am a sinner. I fail every single day. We are all sinners and Jesus came to save us. I can tell others that good news and I can love and pray for them whether they want to hear it or not.

And they will know we are Christians by our love???

So whether you are Republican, a Democrat, a Christian, an Agnostic... Can we all just agree that the hate needs to stop and we need to love each other?

Because we all need to remind ourselves of this:

But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. - Luke 6:35 

Because Ellen said it best:

 

Because we all need to listen to these songs:

And because we all need a good laugh:

Cheers to 33!

I'm going to start blogging... Figured a birthday blog was a good way to start.

So it all started on Tuesday, September 14, 2010. My 33rd year began with a blow... A piece of news I wasn't ready to hear. I remember every detail to that day... Trying to get ready for work, horrible conversations at work, trying to work but not being able to concentrate, then trying to make it look like I hadn't been crying all day to go to my birthday dinner with my family. It was awful. I had 2 choices at that point: 1) Let it ruin me or 2) Pick myself up and move on. I remember talking to my brother that day and he said that I should see this news as the best birthday gift ever. It finally put an end to something I never really wanted anyway, but couldn't seem to leave behind. This was just God making the decision for me. Now if you know my brother, you know that wise advice is not a regular thing to come spilling out of his mouth. This was a rare occasion (just kidding Jobussy). But he was soooo right! He knows me so well. I had been miserable for two years... 7 actually, but really bad for the first 2 and then the last 3 of those 7... and this was my chance to leave all of that behind and find the old me... The really old me. The me from high school.

What happened to the me from high school? I needed to find her... Maybe not inside the bubble I was in in high school, but at least find the heart I had back then. It's not that I had become a bad person in the years since high school, but I had lost my heart and my priorities were all out of sorts. So I vowed to find the old me this year... No matter what it took. In high school, God was number one, then my family, then my friends and then fun... I had lots of fun and I laughed a lot. I was full of life back then. But I had let circumstances and certain people in my life drain me and I had lost my spirit in recent years. I had let people walk on me and make me feel like I wasn't good enough. That is NOT me. I wanted my spirit back!

So I was selfish... I needed to be. I needed to take care of myself. I needed to make sure that my priorities were in order and that I was happy on my own before I could worry about anyone else. I needed to take this "gift", as my brother called it, and make the most of it.

So during my 33rd year:

1) I started a new business right before my birthday and decided to put a lot of energy into it to see it be a success. And it has been. I had more business than I ever anticipated. So exciting.

2) My mom and I took a vacation - It was amazing... Just me and my mom for a week. I wouldn't trade that experience for anything. It was one of my favorite trips ever.

3) I quit my job - Best decision ever! I had had my dream job, but lost it in 08 due to the economy. Southern Land hired me back, but in property management and it made me absolutely miserable. I was hard to be around. I was so depressed and drank a lot. It was a horrible job for me and while I was grateful they hired me when I couldn't find a job, I had to get out of it. It was bringing me down.

4) I started working out - still not skinny and I may never be (because I love good food and beer), but I feel healthier than I have in a long time.

5) I left several relationships behind. I reconnected with old friends and established several new friendships. I am so lucky to have so many GOOD friends... not just acquaintances. I feel like I had neglected really good friends for some drinking buddies for years. Luckily, they were there waiting for me when I returned. :)

6) I started hanging out with my family even more. My parents are amazing and are 2 of my favorite people to hang out with. Why would I want to go to a bar when my parents want me to sit on their patio with them? And my brothers, sister, their spouses and friends... such great friends and supporters in my life. Oh and my niece and nephews??? Well, you've seen pictures. I am one lucky aunt! And my dog, Bandit... my boy. :)

7) I went to Thailand for a month. Chi-Chi was there finishing up her masters and I have always wanted to go to Thailand. I was supposed to go for 2 weeks and stayed for 4. It was amazing and so much fun. Just what I needed.

8) I dove into my church - volunteering, small groups, women's retreats. This was my most life changing decision. My church is amazing and changed me completely. I remember visiting and hearing the pastor saying, "We're all just sinners stumbling towards God". Wow! YES I AM! That's all I am. I have stumbled, I have fallen flat on my face, but like the REM lyric says (that this blog was inspired from): "I trip, fall, pick myself up and Walk Unafraid". Now I don't know the reason that Michael Stipe walks unafraid, but I know my reason... I walk unafraid because God is walking right next to me. In April, I decided to be baptized and it was amazing to stand there in front of family and friends and rededicate my life to God with them as my witnesses and greatest supporters. It was amazing.

9) I found a new job. Hope Clinic has been great. I may not be making millions, but I enjoy what I do and I love the people I work with every day. And I love that my work encourages me in my walk with God too. It is so nice to work in a Christian environment.

10) I tried to make healthy decisions. I thought about things before making a decision. That may sound simple, but I wasn't very good at that in my personal life. :) I had made several mistakes over the past several years and they made me more self aware. I now knew what pushed my buttons and caused me to start to fall and so I avoid those situations. I had to make hard decisions, but I knew they were for the best.

So I was selfish... But I found the old me. This year was about ME. Some people may think that was selfish and that I'm a bi**h. I see it as I had no other choice. I had to be selfish. I had to find the old me. I had to do whatever it took to keep me from spiraling out of control. I was at my breaking point... I chose me. And now because of that, I am in a healthy and happy place to choose others. This coming year will be about family, friends, church, service, community and missions... but it's only possible because this past year was about ME.

I am here to tell you that things do get better. I don't believe that God has a plan for all of our lives to be perfect - trust me I've still had hard moments this year, but I do believe that God has a perfect plan. And somehow my messy life fits into His perfect plan. And because I have faith in that, I can get through whatever comes my way.

Today is September 14, 2011... I am turning 33... And I am the happiest and healthiest I have ever been in my life. I took bad news a year ago and turned it around to my advantage. That piece of bad news was maybe the best news I have ever received because it changed me... it helped me find the old me and turn me into a brand new me... A better me. Thank you to all of you who supported me... this year and throughout my entire life. I am so thankful for all of you and happy to be on this journey with you.

Here's to 33! May my 34th year on this earth be the best one yet! :)

Alison

Wish I Had It On Video

So... I'm a klutz. Everyone knows that. Well, my friend took me looking at houses today. Just for fun, but I also really want a house so that I can have Bandit back. He needs a yard. This house was perfect... I loved EVERYTHING about it except that it was on the wrong side of Shelby. It's so cute though AND it had a 2 car garage. A 2 car garage in East Nashville is like winning the lotto. Which now that I found the 2 car garage, I need to win the lotto to afford it. Oh well...

Anyway... the funny story. Have you seen the sync commercial where the girl tells the door to open and then slams into the door with her coffee? Well, that was me today. I went into the master bathroom and went to look out of the window at the backyard and didn't notice that they hadn't put the vent in the floor and there was just a hole. I stepped into the hole and flew into the window just like the commercial. I slammed my face sideways up onto the glass. I'm really surprised I didn't break the window. Darbi was laughing so hard that she almost peed her pants. She grabbed herself and said, I'm gonna pee, I'm gonna pee. Oh my gosh it was so funny. I wish I had it on video because it's not as funny typing it. Trust me though... it was funny. =)

My Anthem

If you know me at all, you know that I am a huge REM fan. Walk Unafraid is one of my favorite REM songs... Not my all time favorite (Find the River), but close. The lyrics of the song mean a lot to me and I want to live my life by walking unafraid.

I'm starting this blog because I'm at PR Boot Camp in Atlanta and he's making us. Maybe I'll continue to blog... maybe not.

Speaking of REM, I had the craziest dream the other night. I was so upset because I found out the Michael Stipe was going to jail because he was caught using illegal immigrant children to produce his albums because the labor was cheaper. I know... It doesn't even make sense, but I was REALLY upset about it and couldn't stop crying. My sister and I were driving up to my grandmother's house and Amy Grant was walking up the hill so we picked her up and gave her a ride. My sister was really embarrassed by me because I could not control my crying. Amy was sweet to me, but did not understand why I was so upset. No one understood why I was so upset. I just knew that he had been set up and he wouldn't do such a thing. It was a really strange dream.